“Ugh, I’ve got so much work this weekend!”

This is how the conversation with Bojan went:

Bojan: Ugh, I’ve got so many things on the list for the coming weekend. (Note: He then listed a few more or less important things to do in order to satisfy his wife and two sons, both of whom are over 20.) All I will do is work, and I still won’t be able to do everything. Then, on Sunday evening, I will again wonder why I didn’t take at least some time out for myself. I would really like to go to the mountains or do some other recreation. It’s the same every week and, to be honest, I’m fed up. I’ve had enough of it!

Peter: And what would be the worst thing that could happen if you didn’t do all of this?

Bojan: Well, actually, nothing would be wrong …

Peter: No, no, don’t try to avoid the question! What would be the worst thing about not doing everything?

Bojan: Well, probably, that my wife would be in a bad mood.

Peter: And what if your wife were in a bad mood?

Bojan: Oh, that’s not a big deal …

Peter: Aaah, not like that. What would be the worst thing that could happen in such a case?

Bojan: At first, she wouldn’t want to talk to me for some time … then she would probably get angry too … and our relationship would deteriorate.

Peter: How would that continue?

Bojan: Eventually we would probably divorce.

Peter: What would be the most awful thing about that?

Bojan: I would be alone again and feel lonely.

Peter: When was the first time you felt like that?

Bojan (after careful thought): In hospital when I had appendix surgery when I was six. At that time, parents weren’t allowed to stay with their children for long when visiting. My mum and dad could only visit me for half an hour a day and bring me my favourite food; the rest of the time I was entirely alone …

Can you guess how Bojan felt when we removed his childhood trauma and what his weekends look like now? He still does a lot for his family and his home during the weekend, but he also takes time for himself. And he feels much more relaxed than before.